There's nowt so queer as folk!

I'm constantly amazed at some of the words and phrases which some people type into their search boxes. Below is yet another selection of searches which have brought people like you, Dear Reader, to peruse my Blog. I'm sure that it has been quite a shock to a good number of them, lol.
I mean, how would you feel if you'd typed in "How to paint water", and then were directed to a crazy man's Blog about struggling with Egyptian workmen and 'Egypt Time' etc. I know I'd feel that the computer had let me down, again!!!!

                                               

walkway information desk                                                                             
hindi song, english, gone is the summer the sumer hs gone away                      
how to paint water                                                                                      

bedroom computer mixing paint                                                                    

queer bags                                                                                                  

dark street 3d                                                                                             
Nescafe Cupboard                                                                                      
Horror breaking windows and walls

famous painting of a bride meeting her groom                                                

luxor pinhole glasses

luxo decorating man's
pictures of dead jasmine plant                                                    

how to get blessing in Luxor                                                                         
Display unit for salad                                                                  

queer as folk wallpaper bed                                                                          
+oldluxo decorating man's apartment santa clauses                                           
luxor saidi region map                                                                                  

golden name tag to hotel staff                                                                      
walls of Judah                                                                            

camel eyebrows



I'd better leave it at that, 'cause we've got some visitors due soon and I'm not dressed yet. (It's only 11.48 in the morning!)

I'll be back.

Water problems solved, for good maybe?.

Our latest guest is a plumber! He very kindly brought me a pressure regulating valve and some copper pipe and adaptors/couplings. He even offered to actually do the work as well, but as he's really here for a holiday I didn't feel able to take him up on that. Here are the bits I needed:

Here's where they have to go:

Not being a plumber, I don't have plumbers' tools, in particular a set of Stillsons. However, I got talking to our neighbour Mr Gamal, who has the next building and a wedding shop and a household goods shop, and he used to be a hotel plumber! How handy, I thought.

Using a mixture of sign language and dodgy Arabic, I eventually managed to ask him if he would loan me some Stillsons. He would, and he would meet me here at ashara (ten o'clock) in the morning.

He arrived at about 10 25, which is OK for Egyptian time, as you know. But there were no Stillsons. Mafishe mushkellar (no problem), he just popped along the street and took a new set off the shelf of Ashraf's tool shop! He hung around to make sure that I didn't get into any bother with the waterworks, very kind.

I switched the pump off, and turned the spindle of the ball valve to the off position (the handle is long-gone, and a pair of pliers now do the job). I knew, of course, that there would be all the water from the pipe which goes right through the building and up to the fourth floor, to contend with when I loosened the connection. I wasn't expecting it to squirt out quite so devastatingly though! It was like something from a Laurel and Hardy picture! Mr Gamal had been standing in the space on the landing, and got sprayed all down his right side. He came around to the actual stairs as I got to grips with removing the pipe, with water still flowing from it.Off it came, but the water was still gushing forth from the clever new switch, I knew the ball valve on the main was switched of, so there shouldn't be any pressure there. I stuck my thumb over the outlet; there WAS still pressure there, and it forced the water past my thumb and (you guessed it) straight at poor Mr Gamal again, this time catching him right in the face and down his front. It transpired that (not having my specs on) I hadn't actually closed the ball valve completely!

Anyway, I eventually stopped the flow of water, and Mr Gamal and I got the new gear out of the Egypt Free Shops carrier bag, at which point he managed to drop the heaviest of the brass fittings on to my left middle toe! You can see the discolouration just below the nail. I'm not certain, but it could have been in retaliation for the soaking, what do you think?

After it all came apart, I tripped off to the plumbers merchant shop down the street to get the pipes cut and threaded, and to see if they had a one-way valve to put in to save all the water pouring out of the interior pipes if I had to take it to bits again at any time in the future. I was pleasantly surprised when they charged me 35le for the lot, valve included!

Gamal and I soon had it back together, with about two miles of P.T.F.E. thread tape in the joints. One of which has a slight weep on it, but Gamal (him being an ex-plumber) reckons that it will dry up within a few days. (Insh'Allah.)

Here's a shot of the finished article, the one-way valve is at the top left.

It works a treat! Now our guests can have a shower without getting their skin peeled off.

Room on top!

You'll probably find this difficult to believe, I certainly did!

While we were standing on Sharia Karnak, waiting for the arabaya to ferry us to our favourite watering hole, a convoy of privately hired mini-buses came blasting past. Obviously a wedding party going on somewhere, as they were all full of women and children, with the usual shouting and yelling and hand-clapping.

What my usual lackadaisical self hadn't been ready for, were the three young boys (between 8 and 12, I should think) sitting at the very back of one of the buses, ON THE ROOF RACK!!!!!

I used to carry the camera around in my trousers pocket, but the extra weight kept stretching my braces ('suspenders' for those of you in the USA), which are difficult to replace in Egypt and increasingly expensive in England. I remedied this by shoving it into the breast pocket of my shirt, with the short carry strap fastened around one of the shirt buttons, in case it fell out of the pocket. I've recently changed again! This time to using the 'bum bag' which I first bought for our initial journey to Egypt in 1997. Freda came across it when she was tidying somewhere the other day. So it now carries my camera and my phone. It's quite handy really. Although I cannot see to fasten it, it fits quite snugly under my overhanging belly, and is quite inconspicuous. Problem being, that I forget where the camera is, and by the time I've remembered and struggled (blindly, of course) with zips and stuff to get the stupid thing out; the picture opportunity has been and gone! Story of my life, I suppose. Never mind.

The scene reminded me of old Jim Musgrave, the signwriter who used to work in my garage. He loved to tell us tale of the 'olden days' and one was of the Craghead omnibus when it became a double decker. Open top, of course, and when it came towards the low bridge on it's route somewhere, the conductor would shout up the stairs, "Mind your heads!" and all the upstairs passengers had to dook down, or get their heads knocked off!

I expect the 'bus would have been something like this one at the famous 'Beamish Museum' which is just a few short miles from Craghead. Old Jim died 22 years ago, I wonder what he would have thought of us living in Luxor?

Happy days!

Now, let's get cracking!

Freda is busy using the sewing machine, and I'm busy (on and off) cleaning the staircase walls. You wouldn't believe the muck that's coming off them!

I've just come indoors to have a drink, and Freda is going mad because the needle has just dropped out of the machine and she cannot get it to go back in. "Ford Transit Gearbox Syndrome" I said. Which in practice means that if you leave it for a short while and then go back to it; it'll drop into place with ease! I learned this in my youth, when I replaced a lot of clutches in Ford Transit vans. The gearbox was quite heavy for one person to hold above his head, or more likely on his shoulder, while trying to get it to slide through the clutch plate and into the spigot bearing in the crankshaft. After a half hour of lifting the stupid thing up and down and a bit of cursing here and there, your arms and shoulders would be about to give out. The remedy was to go away and partake of a slavery bacon sandwich and a cup of tea, before trying again. Invariably, on this attempt, the gearbox would fly in, and you would be left wondering why it wouldn't go before. Needless to say, when Freda went back to the sewing machine; the needle almost fell into place!

While I'm indoors, I might as well tell you of the fabulous idea we had! We had a little excursion to the Nile Palace last night, as well as having a couple of magazines to pass on to our friend Alison (Guest Relations Manager), we thought we were due a break, and what better place to do a bit of 'spotting'?

Actually, we were surprised at the number of people there, also very encouraged! There were quite a number of Americans and the usual spattering of English. We can normally spot most of the English from a mile away. The fact that their football shirts aren't colour co-ordinated with the socks they are wearing with their sandals, tends to give them away! (Hahaha!)

Many nationalities are given away by their facial shapes, I haven't yet managed to distinguish between all the oriental peoples, although I'm told that most of them have unmistakable features, according to country. The French are often easily spotted because of the 'style' which many of their women seem to have, while puffing away on a Gauloises or two. Also, many of the Frenchmen have the same habit as Italian men, of wearing a pullover draped across their shoulders!

Nevertheless, none of these spotters' clues are infallible, the obviously French couple might give us quite a turn, when a broad Brummy accent utters forth as they pass closely by, but it's still good and harmless amusement for poor people who don't have a telly!

So, while we were sitting and sipping, and sighting, last night, we came up with the ideal solution: We are going to petition our friend Mr Gamal (Chairman of the Board) to require all his new guests to wear National Costume while inside the hotel.

Isn't that a great idea? I can just imagine the lederhosen wearers, with their meerschaum pipes and silly hats, slapping their thighs as they go around singing; "Falderee, fadleraaaaah, faldereeeeee, falderahahahahaha, falderee etc etc." it would be a scream! (Just found the following, half an hour after publishing, can you imagine them at the N.P.?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzhlUhQSebE&feature=related

Those people whom we thought might have been from a South American country, could have had sets of pan-pipes hanging around their necks, as a hint. Or if they had, in fact, been Mexicans, they could have worn their sombreros. 

I've only ever seen one English gent in what might actually pass for national costume (I think I told you about him at the time). He looked really peculiar at Luxor airport in his pinstriped trousers and bowler hat!

Khalass! Enough of this timewasting! I'm being worked around as I sit here, so I think I'd better move and get back to it myself.

TTFN. (Ta-ta for now; an old Jimmy Young saying, from the wireless.)

Well, what do you think?

Hopefully, we won't have anymore guests getting sunburnt while they're having their breakfast! The new extended sunshade is almost twice the size of the old one, just over 20 feet long and about 10 feet deep.

If you want a closer look, you can either come and stay with us, or you can click once for a bigger picture, or twice to go full screen.

The next big job is floor tiling, so if you're a really good tiler and would like free accommodation in Luxor for a couple of weeks, you know who to contact, don't you?

It's Finished!

Actually the roof has been finished for a few days now, it's just the cleaning up and tidying things away that's taking the time now. Today I've been washing (scrubbing actually) the walls on the roof terrace, and they've come up quite well. The 'muriel' was filthy, I suppose that it caught a great deal of muck off the old roof, when I took it all down before our holiday.

Just a few little pics to show you what I'm up against while I'm trying to get anything done.

Yes, I'm afraid that the cup of tea is one of the biggest stumbling blocks, but it's not just me, you know! Freda often stops the job by demanding tea, and, of course, she cannot make it, so I have to. 

I'm sure you all know what that is, don't you? It's a high speed twist drill. It's for drilling holes in metal, and this particular one is 3 millimetres in diameter. Trouble is; they aren't supposed to bend, I snap these sort of size drills regularly, as I'm not a very good driller. I think this is the first time I've managed to bend one, though, it must have been real junk! It's typical of the quality of tools and hardware etc. which I've bought in Luxor, and sometimes take up as much time, by the trouble they cause, as if the job had to be done twice over!

                                     

Yes, that's 61.1c. Actually it was in the sun (like me, when I'm working) and by the time I picked it up, came indoors and grabbed the camera and then went back outside, it had dropped from 64.3! So you see, it's not all that easy; working without stopping for refreshment etc.

On top of all the work on the roof, I still have my normal duties to perform as well, cleaning and shopping and washing the dishes, the list is endless!

Actually, the roof work entailed rather more than I had imagined as well! More curtain pole had to be bought and cut, new brackets had to be designed, and made at the local blacksmith's (the bought ones are made of double thickness silver paper) and the curtains had to be altered too. The decorative cross motifs along the roof edge had to be copied, as there weren't enough of the originals. Of course they aren't the right colour, as the varnish on the old ones has been weathering for the past 5 or 6 years! I suppose they'll darken down with time.

I expect that the unveiling ceremony might take place tomorrow, so I'm hoping that it will stay fine for some good photography, haha!



Duck's off!

I'm sure one or two of you will recognise the title of this post as the final line in one of my favourite situation comedies. That's right; Fawlty Towers!
But that's only secondary this is where the real inspiration came from:

A nice little duck fanily, resting on a small Nileside beach perhaps? Not quite! Have a scroll down to see.

That's right, they're on the roof of a bulding a couple of streets away. So it looks as if duck might just be 'on' for some lucky family over there!

I promise that I'll bring you some  pictures of the new 'Shady Roof Terrace' soon. Goodnight.

Indian summer?

It's been over 43 degrees again today!

At first, I thought that I must be a bit ill or something, as I was running with sweat while I continued working on the roof. You know how it is, an ache here and sudden flush there, and the next minute you're remembering where the Aspirin are, because you're sure that it's the start of a heat attack! Well, I am like that sometimes, it may be an age thing. LOL.

I've been in and out all day; guzzling water, making tea and sandwiches, checking for enquiries (haha) and keeping abreast of the latest developments regarding the new visa regulations for visitors to Egypt. Have you seen them? I'll not outline them here, but if you're interested you could look here: http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowTopic-g294205-i9426-k4798309-Visas_in_advance_only-Luxor_Nile_River_Valley.html
I have to admit to having a couple of short naps as well, I like a good nap!

I read somewhere that the nutters in Cairo were kicking off again today with a proposed 'Million Man March' with the slogan 'The Day of Anger', and that something was being organised, by busybodies from Qena, to coincide with it here in Luxor. As it happens, we'd just watched the first half of an episode of 'Waking the Dead' in celebration of our son getting a new job, and I had been on the shower during the 'interval' when I heard them! At first I couldn't tell from where the noise was coming, then it dawned on me that it was getting closer. I went out onto the roof terrace to try to ascertain which direction they were coming from. "I must get downstairs and take a picture or two", I thought. Then I realised that they were getting too close for me to get dressed and traipse downstairs in time. I hung over the wall so that I could see a small sewction of the main street.

I waited for a minute or two, and then noticed the people over the main road watching the approaching crowd. Then I saw the first ones, young men, carrying banners nearly the width of our main street (about six metres). There were quite a few different banners and many Egyptian flags, then came the pick-up truck with several of the world's biggest speakers standing in the back! Then the rest of the procession. All in all, I would estimate that the whole lot took about a minute and a half to pass by. There weren't very many of them. As I've said before, Luxor isn't really a hot-bed of political discontent, or even dissent.

Getting back to more important things; the roof is finished, except for the 'decoration only' bits, upon which we haven't yet decided. I'll take some pictures tomorrow, insh'Allah, after we've cleaned up my mess a bit.

Next it's back to painting, my very favourite task! (NOT.)

And all for the want of a horseshoe nail!

You all know that little ditty, I'm sure. It's not literally true in today's circumstance, but it might as well be.

The new roof for the shaded part of the roof terrace is coming along slowly, but I like it so far. The two visitors we've had this week have also commented on it in a positive manner, so that also pleased me!

I'm not too skilled in handling 4 x 4 bits of plywood up a ladder, with a staple gun in the other hand. So, I set to and designed and produced an "extendable roof panel holder upperer" which is only to be used by fully trained and properly attired (the correct safety workwear being a short satin slip) beautiful female assistants. Here is a picture of said extendable roof panel holder upperer (patents pending) in use, the beautiful female assistant declined to be photographed.

                                   What do you think of the fabric, then? Not too blue?

The only reason I haven't got farther on with it today, is that the mains electric drill has "gone west". (colloquialism warning!!.....gone west = gone wrong, broken, or gone away)  The wire, where it goes into the handle seems to have broken, as the power comes and goes when it is wiggled about. I took it down to the 'no speak English' repair shop at lunchtime, and expect to collect it again tomorrow lunchtime. (Insh'Allah) It's so frustrating! Two drills gone down on the same job, you couldn't make it up, could you?

So, "for the want of a horseshoe nail", becomes "for the want of a strand of copper wire!"

Goodnight.

Famous Names?

I think I once told you about my love of these delightful chocolate liqueurs from the company of Elizabeth Shaw. Well I'm not writing about those tonight!
Tonight, I want to pay tribute to my very good friend KV Explorer, he's a famous name in his own right , and rightly so. On the Egypt forums of TripAdvisor, he dispenses timely and sometimes fascinating advice, while imparting an impression of someone who is rather daunting, and sometimes quite cutting with his comments. Nevertheless, he is a good friend to have, and is really as soft as clarts. (I am constantly in trouble for using colloquialisms like 'clarts', so......clarts is a word meaning mud, as in "Your wellies are all clarty!")

My current project (the new shady roof for our terrace) would have been impossible without his generous birthday present to me last April, of a large assortment of screws. So, when it's finished, I can tell future guests that the famous KV Explorer was partly responsible for their comfortable surroundings! I don't mind being known as a 'Name Dropper'!

However, as KV himself will surely testify, "You can never have too many screws!" And, of course, neither can you have too many sizes of screws. As I have found to my great annoyance, out of all the different size and type of screws I have collected or had donated, I didn't have the very ones of which I need about 100 or so. They are for screwing bracing pieces of timber onto the hidden side of the plywood which will eventually provide the actual shade of our new shady roof.

The hardware man in the next street (a lovely shop, which looks as if it goes on indefinitely, with alleyways through stacks of shelving and cupboards) doesn't stock much in the way of cross-head screws. That's why I've been bringing my own from Geordieland and commandeering stock from 'the rich and famous'. But there's no time this time! I want this job finished before our next guests arrive. (Yes, we do have some guests booked in, and we've just taken another booking from a couple whom we were recommended to by some past American guests. So there!) So I needed to find the right ones here in Luxor.

Here's the place where all your dreams can come true! That's if you're a sad old fogey like me, anyway.

I don't know what the shop is called, but it's downstairs from the Horus Hotel, just behind the Temple. As you pass down the aisle in the last picture, you can see small 'rooms' built out of even more shelving! It's the original Aladdin's Cave, I'm certain. If you click on the pictures and then click again, you can use your cursor and magnifier to look about the shelves and inspect some of his stock. From model torsos for hanging clothes on, to six inch shackles and nice big steel hooks. I have been intrigued by the other hardware shop, as I told you, but this one takes the biscuit! They even have real 'Pozidriv' screws, for Heaven's sake, and roofing screws with the built-in drill bit ends. There was an ordinary Egyptian bloke in there, galabiya and headscarf type, buying four nuts and bolts which were about 8 inches long by roughly an inch and a quarter diameter! What on earth was he going to use them for?

Anyway, it's my new 'favourite shop'. It's owned and run by an old gent who is the third generation of his family to be there. He has only daughters who aren't interested in the business.

Perhaps I can persuade him to adopt me?

And on the seventh day.........

I knocked off early!

You know about all the wood and everything, well, I cut the wrong piece and now I haven't got enough to finish the framework!!!!!!! I could just SPIT! Today, being Sunday, the Christians don't work, so Mena the wood man won't be there until tomorrow. Today, I've been finishing off the corners and checking that all the spars are at the same height and angle (yes, it's going to,have a slight slope so that the rain runs off). I'm short of one long spar (3m 15cm) and one short one (1m 65cm), trouble is that I think nearly all of Mena's wood comes in at 3 metres, so he'll have to machine down a great big bit for me, "Ohhhh, the expense!"

This shows where the missing spars are to go, the long one runs from above the right hand A/C to the cross piece on the two pillars nearer the camera, and the short one is for about where the thin white stick is near to the left hand A/C. Never mind, it's gained my poor old aching body a rest for tonight.

I suppose that I should show you the pictures that 'A Certain Person' took, you would have thought that after 40 years she would by now know on which side her bread is buttered, apparently not! (Seems she is hoping for a job with that Jonathon Routh bloke on 'Candid Camera'.) Mind you, you'll note that along with my best white boxers, I'm sporting a very stylish 'Welcome to Luxor' baseball cap! I don't often resort to such proletariat headgear, but this was presented to me on behalf of our beloved Governor of five minutes; General Khaled Fouda, on the occasion of the 'Luxor Clean City' campaign. I knew it would come in useful at some point!

Freda snapped the first one just a moment before the jig-saw cut my thumb off at the knuckle!

Before I leave the roof for the time being, I've just got to show you the following picture!

I spied this from the top of my steps, over the roof of our little hovel, it's on next door's roof. I haven't seen anything like it before! A kiddies pedal powered Vespa, would you believe it?

And now for something completely different!

Anyway, I had promised to bore you with some holiday snaps from England, although I fail in all sorts of other ways, I do try to keep my promises. (When I was little, my Dad once promised to take me to the swimming baths, and he never did! I forgave him, but I haven't forgotten it.)

We travelled home with our good friend Christine (the owner of Tuttie Frutti in Luxor) who just happens to belong about 8 miles away from Windy Nook. Small world! We flew with Easy Jet, the flight was OK but when we were looking forward to our bacon baguette and cheese and ham toasty, we were frightfully disappointed to be told that there were only cheese salad sandwiches left! (Rabbit food, uuurghh.) However, after Freda had taken all the disgusting green stuff out, it was quite nice, really. We thought that it would be nice and cheap to hire a car between the three of us, and drive up home, big mistake! We were all tired and ratty, and it wasn't all that cheap after all, same on the way back down to Gatwick. It won't happen again!

When I saw this coming along our street, I thought it was a funeral, but then I noticed the white plumes and realised it must be a bridal carriage. I rushed to get the camera, and just managed to get this poor shot.

The building at the extreme left of the picture is our local Anglican Church, St Alban's, where the wedding was to be held. Queer place, Windy Nook, originally a pit and quarry village with various Methodist Chapels and the one Church. When I was a nipper, there were five families called Stephenson in the village, and none of them related! 

We were one of the posh families, with an INSIDE toilet, and a bath that wasn't galvanised tin and didn't hang on the back of the scullery door!

Took Mam and little Brother Richard to the Hancock Museum in Newcastle to see their Egyptian exhibition.

(It's now called the 'Great North Museum Hancock' or some such tripe!) But the exhibits were very good. Of course, you'll recognise the Rosetta Stone, which proved to be the 'missing link' as far as hieroglyphics were concerned. (It's not the real; one.)

I was quite taken by the 'Pylon', with the projected carvings, very original idea, I thought!

I have quite a few more pictures, along with some that our Richard took as well, but I think this posting is getting rather long, and there's still more to write!

While we were home, we were invited to Dear Sister's house to celebrate the 60th birthday of  Brother-in-law, Uncle Roy. His cake came all the way from Harrogate, where it was made by the artist mother of our eldest granddaughter Kezia. What do you think?

The masts and yards are made of wood, but everything else was edible! She's a marvel that girl (Emma).

We used our Benjamin's car quite a bit, but with petrol at this price..............

we didn't go as far as we would have liked!

Mam and I had a trip out to view the coastline one day. First at Marsden (very near to where Christine Tuttie lives) .....

and then  across the Coaly Tyne, and out to Whitley Bay, past the Spanish City (which used to be a huge funfair) and on to St Mary's Lighthouse.

We also went a bit farther north to Seaton Sluice, where a relation of hers used to live in a house right on the little harbour, but it's all gone now!

It was a very pleasant day out, we both enjoyed it.

Well, I'd better stop, I think. I've done enough rambling to warrant joining a rambling club!

The 'Mysterious Men of Zawaggy', at night.

So, I went to Zawaggy on the bike to see my new friend Mena. Mena is a Christian boy (well, young man, I suppose) who works in his father's timber business. They have lots and lots of lovely bits of wood. Some of it (Zann?) is so dense you can hardly pick it up, it comes from Romania, and is a dark colour. As usual, I had little option but to go for the cheapo rubbish from either Russia of Finland, it's white, soft and rather lightweight. (Remind you of anyone, Dear Reader?)

Also, as usual, Zawaggy being part of Luxor and being in Egypt; the evening was almost a complete farce! I'd been to see Mena the night before, told him what I wanted, all the wood dressed, what lengths I wanted, everything! When I arrived, I was introduced to another young chap, Marcus, who would be overseeing the dressing of the timber etc. Off we went, on a donkey cart, armed with a bunch of keys and a battery lamp. "This doesn't bode well" I thought.

The light was because the particular warehouse where the first pieces of timber were stored had no electricity, (neither did the other places either) that's Marcus in the background, as we tramped around collecting the different bits of timber..

 Two or three roller shutter doors ground up and down before we had all the bits and pieces we needed. Then off we went again to the machine shop, which was just across the ring road, farther to the east of the town. What a fab place! I know one or two blokes who would be in their element here.  Belts and chains driving antiquated machinery, and chippings and sawdust lying knee deep on the floor, all over.  Girges (George) knows the character and foibles of each machine!

It was yon time when I finally got home to Our Luxor. The carter was very good, and carried more than his share of the timber up the stairs for me, I was dead beat!

I think these two bits have been dried out a bit too quickly, but we couldn't see any that were any better!

Never mind, a bit of filler here and there and no-one will be any the wiser. (Except you and me, that is!) My air-conditioned workshop is a bit tidier than theirs, don't you think?



These are the main supports for the new shaded area on the terrace. Freda made me take them outside into the heat before I rubbed the filler down, she just doesn't care, that woman! Anyway, they're ready to go up now. I've spent this evening varnishing the plywood sheets to make them waterproof for when it next rains cats and dogs.  (I know! It mightn't be for another four of five years, but better be prepared, eh?

Current problem is that my hands are aching! I'm no longer used to this WORK lark. I was getting spelks in my fingers etc, which are all now sore to touch, before I remembered that my old mate Andy Kennedy had given me some lovely work gloves. Not the usual rubbish made out of cheap cuts of thick suede-like leather and hard fabric! No sir, these are proper tan leather gloves,  lined to be comfortable and actually usable! They're drying out something terrible though, I wonder if I can rub some olive oil or something into them before they're spoilt altogether? 

I'll report back when I get a chance, you know how busy I can be, what with building and fitting air-conditioning, along with my more normal duties of washing dishes and vacuuming floors etc etc!

See you soon, insh'Allah.

There may be trouble ahead!

I've got to tell you that I'm too whacked to be of much use to you tonight, Dear Reader. I'll just bring you a snippet or two of what's going on at the moment.

Last night (or should I really say, yesterday evening?)  no, last night I rode a push bike for the first time in about 25 years! The last time was during a holiday at Haverigg on the Cumberland coast, I fell off over the handlebars. This time I was OK though.

I wanted to go to Zawaggy, which is about a twenty minute walk, and thought that if I borrowed a bike I could get there and back quicker and easier. First I asked Adam (Coffeeshop) if I could borrow Haggag's, but it had a flat tyre. Then I thought of Mohamed Sabba. Mohamed said that his bike wasn't good enough for me to ride, but that I could borrow his brother's. We toddled off to the family home and found the brother and the bike, and away I went.

Now then! If you've been to Luxor, and you take notice of things in general, you probably noticed that Egyptian bikers ride around  turning their front wheel from side to side as they go. So that when they are coming towards you, you can never tell on which side they intend to pass you, or indeed, whether they are going to ride straight into you! I supposed that it might have something to do with a lack of a 'Cycling Proficiency Test' and that it was an Egyptian trait. I was wrong! I found, to my utter amazement, that I too was doing it from time to time. I think it may have something to do with the bikes being Chinese, and everything seeming to be not quite in the right place? I don't know. Mohamed wouldn't let me have his bike as it didn't have any brakes (at all, just not there). You'll be pleased to know that he is taking good care of me by getting me the brothers bike, which has brakes front and rear, neither of which made the slightest effort to stop the machine, but they were there.

Here's a little warning to all the cooks out there: When you're making lentil soup, don't put the lentils and chopped onion in water and leave it to stand overnight in a temperature of 30 degrees ish. It ferments or something, and smells awful with a thick foam on the top!

I've got the wood and stuff for the new shady bit roof. I'll put some piccys on during the next few days, promise!

007 and the Man with the Golden Gun! (Not quite)

Well Dear Reader, I've seen this bloke knocking around for years.
You know the type: doesn't ever speak to anyone, is always by himself, seems 'disconnected'! Around Gateshead, there is still a bloke on a bike whom I've noticed for twenty years at least. He wears a 'Northern' 'Bus Drivers hat and has a truck rear view mirror fastened to his handlebars. I used to see him all over, sometimes miles and miles away!

But back to this strange one in Luxor. He carries around a gun! Something like a big shotgun! Here he is, snapped at the end of our little cul-de-sac. Freda was returning from Mohamed Saba's other shop, when she came across him on the road outside. Luckily, I'd stopped with the other shopping and was chatting to the boys in Adam's coffee shop when she came back, all excited, and told me where he was. By the time I'd got the camera out of my pocket, I only had one shot to get him, it was like being a hitman!!!! Here he is:

He isn't a vigilante or anything, the gun is made of painted wood!

Strange or what?

Creatures of the Night.

Well and truly back!

I didn't actually slit my wrists, us 'Jenninsies' are made of sterner stuff! Instead, I got out my trusty camera. This is a very interesting picture of a drip forming....(no, it really isn't!)

Click twice on the picture to get a better look. This is one of the unforeseen consequences of sorting out our water problems; i.e. more water problems!

Never mind, as the Muslims say; Al hamdulillah, which roughly translates (or so I believe) as thank God for everything, whatever he sends. I'd promised myself that I'd get the livingroom A/C working as well, so the Chancellor of the Exchequer (Freda again, a multi-talented girl if ever there was one) and I counted up our money and off I went. The switch for the A/C was 30le, I was hoping to get a bit discount from that, which would leave me a little bit for other bits and bobs. The shop was shut! I trudged home with some water, which wouldn't do the same job.

Of course, I tried again later, only to find that another of the brothers who run the electrical shop wouldn't budge from 35le. As I only had 33.50le, this was obviously a non-starter and I left the premises in disgust! Hey ho! There's another (newer) electrical supply shop on my way back home, so I tried there. No English here at all, but fortunately I'd written down the details of the existing switch on a scrap of paper, and so eventually found one...........for 31le. I was as happy as a sandboy! Reinvigorated by this minor success; I tripped off down to the plumbers merchants again, could the leaky valve be replaced for 2.50le?

Sometimes I really wonder about my sanity. A valve the same as my defunct one was 10le, but that was Egyptian, and the better quality Italian one was 15le. It might as well have been 1000! I showed the man what I had, and told him that I would return when I had some more cash. At this, he pressed the Italian job into my hand, indicating by sign, and the odd attempt at English, that I could pay him on Monday.

I suddenly felt like Bob the Builder again. Can we fix it??????

As soon as I got home I tackled the leaky valve. As it's on the feed into the hot tank; I had a constant trickle of near boiling water to contend with as I wrapped the threads with Teflon (P.T.F.E.) tape. It was soon done though, even though I smashed to pieces a plastic step while standing on it to better gain access to the valve etc. I'm sure that less than 16 stone shouldn't have done that! Anyway, the job was OK, and I was even more enthused and raring to go. It was coming up to midnight.

Being very colour blind doesn't endear one to the mysteries of electricity, however, since Egyptian electricity satisfies itself with only two wires, I'm not afraid to have a go at it (within reason!) on occasion. When our good friend Mr Ramadan (the local electrician with the unspeakable habits) fitted up the wiring and switch for the A/C in the bedroom, he had said that a completely separate cable and trip switch would be required for the other (livingroom) one. Now, me being of a cynical nature, I wondered if that was really the case, or was Mr R. just trying to weedle a few more quid out of me? 

While we were at home in Windy Nook, I found an old, slightly rusty, Vernier caliper! I also got some new spectacles made by the excellent Mr Hadwin. (Why is he telling us this?) I was now equipped to measure the actual wire inside the cable! (See?) The cable attached to the A/C unit had wire that measured one and a quarter millimetres, whereas the wire that Mr R. had run from the trip switches, was two and a half millimetres. Even someone who once got a mark of three out of a hundred for arithmetic can calculate that that is twice the size, and go on to suspect that it would be OK to run the two A/C's off it. While measuring the thickness of the wires, a mini-disaster struck! I found that the cable attached to the A/C unit had THREE cores. After a moment or two of initial panic, I just removed the cover from the live switch and got my apprentice (that's right, Freda again!) to check on the colours. Mafeesh mushkellar! (Remember? "No problem".)

After getting confirmation from Uncle Roy (without whose kindness and generosity we wouldn't even be here) that the 2.5mm cable and 32 Amp trip etc. should be adequate, an orgy of cutting and drilling, hammering and screwing ensued until at about 02.30 when it was finally time to have both of our rooms air conditioned! First the bedroom one......OK, then the new one.....OK, but it was blowing warm!!!! The stupid thing took about 15 minutes or so to sort itself out, but when it did; it was magic! It had the livingroom like a fridge in no time at all. (They must be reflections on the wall, sorry.)

I left them both switched on for a couple of hours, while I had a look around the forums and Freda did her Sleeping Beauty impression. I checked the wiring for heat, and found that the main cable from the tripswitch was a bit warm, nowhere near hot, you understand, but it felt warm to touch. I'll keep an eye on it.

Now, after clearing away all the tools and rubbish etc. it'll be another meshrabiya cover for the outside! No rest for the wicked, I'm afraid.

Have a nice day! 

So you're back?

Yes Playmates, we certainly are! (The title was the opening line of an email from our good friend Phil900 of TripAdvisor fame.)

I've had a touch of writer's block (says he pretentiously) since we got back to Luxor. There wasn't a great deal to report on whilst we were in England, but I have a few pictures and stuff to share, when I get around to it.

In the meanwhile: I've had a touch of the galloping "Egyptian Frustrations" to deal with!!!!

Firstly, the tap which feeds the toilet cistern was leaking. I thought that it would fix itself, as it would just be dried out with having the water switched off for two weeks. Why do I always convince myself that things aren't as bad as I really know that they will turn out to be? Out with the gear, off with the tap, as I couldn't get the top off in situ. Down to the shop, where the man tells me that they aren't made to fix, but to throw away. There's a surprise now! Here was another for 9le. Of course that wasn't the end of the tale, was it?

The stem on the tap was too short as the fitting was sunken into the wall by just a bit too much. Back to the shop for a longer one. "10 pounds please?" So I gave him the extra pound, "No, another 10 pounds." "NINETEEN POUNDS?" says I. I had to have it, so coughed up. When I got home, I wound the tap threads with Teflon tape and screwed it back in, and put the pipe on: Magic! It wasn't until the next morning that we noticed the floor wet again!!!! This time it's only the outlet pipe from the toilet, dripping a bit. I've fixed that with a small dish on the floor, I'm turning Egyptian!

Continuing in a water related way, you will of course remember this..................
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Perhaps you also remember the extremes of 'carry-on' which almost brought me to distraction? Well. we came back to Luxor for it to start all over again.

Before we left, I knew that the water wasn't working properly, and expected that when we returned I would be in possession of a 12 volt compressor to use via my 230v to 12v transformer in order to 'blow up' the 'balloon' without dismantling the whole kit and caboodle. Dear old Uncle Roy found such a compressor in his garage, and as he had a newer one, he kindly let me take the old one away. However, when I went to try the Schrader valve in the top of the tank, there was water coming out of it. Bad sign!! The 'balloon' must have burst.

Now then, I know what to do to change the balloon, you probably do as well after the explanation in the other posting. So off I went to my local plumber's merchant to price a new balloon; 30 pounds, or the whole tank new for 120 pounds. (Egyptian, that is.) "How long should the balloon last" I asked, as we've had three in four years. The man told me that they should last about two years, but here in Luxor; only about six months as the water is so bad! As you know, the old tank was brazed up the last time, and now it's had more oxygenated water in it, causing yet more corrosion. What to do, what to do? I plumped for the complete gizmo! No more wasting time with old worn out gear!

They had to send one of the staff away on his motor bike to their warehouse, as there were none of the 'quality' Italian ones left in the shop. He was only away about 20  minutes or so, and came back with two boxes. Mushkellar (problem) number one, the new tank is a different shape, and I'm not entirely sure that it will fit against the wall, where there is a bit which sticks out about six inches or so! Never mind, it was paid for and I'd try it, it could always come back. Just then, the Boss of the shop shoves this other piece of equipment in my face.

"What's this?" I enquired. " Ahhhh, Meester Adwa, no more balloon, mish mushkellar, water cut; machine stop. Very good, Meester Adwa." That's all very well, but what was the price? Only 220 Egyptian pounds. After coming home and consulting the 'Oracle' (Freda, actually) who counted up our money, we decided to do without the usual caviar this evening, and lash out on the real 'I am' switching system! With the obvious need for pipe shortening etc. it was clearly a job for a skilled man. But we got an Egyptian plumber to do it instead! Hahaha!

The new equipment is much prettier, don't you think?

So, now we have a shower which will happily peel your skin off, but various leaks all over the place due to the increased pressure!

I think I'll just go and slit my wrists under the warm massaging stream from the shower head.

I'm OK without a coat, thank you.

Well, here we are back in Old Blighty, temporarily, of course.

So far, we've been busy seeing family, shopping and cleaning. (The last bit sounds a little familiar, don't you think?) Yesterday, I took the time to attend the evening service at our local Methodist Chapel, really enjoyed it, the preacher was a local man who made a lot of sense and his choice of hymns was OK, especially the last one, which was a bit of a 'ranter'!
I then took myself off to the folk club at South Shields Rugby Club with Dear Sister and BIL. The club had an invited guest, one Anna Shannon. She was excellent; 'BBC Songwriter of the Year' 2006. Very talented as an instrumentalist, and a characterful voice singing a variety of her own songs, which were really in the traditional idiom. It was a much better night than I had expected from someone who sings their own songs. Highly recommended!
Have a quick listen at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3PoDcyIdhQ

Of course, she's much better live!

Number One Son has just landed with two smallish people who might be grandchildren, so I'd better go and be grandfatherly towards them. see you later.